Eirin is covered in blood. She is as still as stone. I'm shaking so hard I feel as though I might crumble to pieces. Laying on the grass are five dead men. High above us, the moon is still waxing - soon the barrier between this place I've come to call home and the True Moon will open. And then the Lunarian emissaries will come looking for these men. And when they find them, they'll be coming for me and Eirin."Now," says Eirin, only her mouth moving, looking down at the five dead men, the short blade still in her hand. "We need to find a place to hide."
I feel as though I might vomit.
"Are you listening to me, Princess?" she asks. "We cannot stay in this town. The moon is almost full and-"
I turn, drop to my hands and knees, and wretch onto the cool grass.
"Well," says Eirin. Her voice is so steady. "I suppose we'll just have to keep moving. Princess." She steps over to me, offering me her hand. I don't take it. She crouches down next to me, and lays a hand on the small of my back. "Princess, it is important that you understand what I am saying here."
My bones begin to shake. "Why did you do that?"
"For you, Princess."
"You did ... this ... for me?" I can see my life now, dropping out of my hands like a plate. I am watching it now in slow motion as it falls, and I know that it will soon strike the ground, and shatter.
"Yes. They were going to take you away from this place, and you didn't want to go. It's my fault you're here in the first-"
"Stop saying that!" I turn to her at last, and I know I'm crying because I can feel the wetness on my cheeks. But I don't feel anything right now.
"Granted, you told me to make the elixir. Refusal of a royal order does have serious consequences. But you have no idea, Princess, no idea whatsoever how guilty I felt when you were banished to this place. And there was nothing I could do. Until now."
For the first time in my life, I am afraid of her. I feel afraid that she has lost her mind. "By killing?" I can't stop the sobbing. I look at the dead men laying there in the moonlight, their faces twisted in terror still. I wish they would sink into the earth. I wish Eirin had never attacked them. A great, heavy door has slammed shut behind me now though.
"Princess," she says, very quietly. "This was the only way. Those men had to die."
I pull away from her, and stand. "You're insane." I can feel panic crawling up the front of my chest, reaching for my throat.
She rises, and shakes her head.
"You're insane!" I scream, trembling. I take a deep breath. I cannot fall apart. It takes all of my energy to keep from shattering completely. I am holding together the pieces of myself by sheer force of will.
"Princess," Eirin says, and a small smile grows across her lips. "Don't worry. I will protect you."
"You'll protect me? From what you- I can't believe this." I cross my arms over my stomach. I do not want to vomit again. I take another deep breath. If I think out loud, maybe I can control my thoughts. "Do you realize just how ruined I am now? I'd miss this place, yes, but I'd get over that, even if it took hundreds of years. I could probably even visit here. You didn't need to ... do this."
"I suppose you are right," Eirin nods. "But it's done now. I take full responsibility for what I did. I want to atone for getting you banished. Even if that means following you to the ends of the Earth, forever."
I want to rush to her and strangle the life out of her. I want to push her into the soil with my bare hands. I hate Eirin so much right now that I feel like my skin is on fire. She walks to me now, slowly. And as much as I want to, I cannot lift my hands to her.
"Princess. I understand you're confused right now. With this one act, I have thrown away everything that I ever achieved. All of the work I did with Lord Tsukuyomi, the home we built with our own hands, the Lunarian society that we created. But listen to me." She places her hands softly on my shaking shoulders. "Listen, Princess. You were the Jewel of the Moon. And they threw you away. Because of me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?" Now her eyes are welling with tears. "I betrayed the crowning spirit, the very essence of the Moon itself. But more than this, I betrayed my best friend."
Eirin embraces me suddenly. I can feel the stickiness of her tears, or the blood, on the side of my face. "When I came here with the emissaries, I never intended to go back. I would put myself in your place and stay here forever. When you told them you wanted to stay here ..." Eirin pulls away from me now. Her ancient eyes are steady, unblinking, motionless. "When you said those words, I knew at once what I had to do. And I did not hesitate. For you, Princess, I would never hesitate."
Her words fall over me like summer rain. My anger washes away in rivulets over my skin, soaked up by the Earth. What that water will nourish, I cannot say.
She's right. The Moon did betray me. But Eirin did not. She is the only friend I ever had. This does not change the fear I feel now. I have to leave my friends and adopted family here. I have to go into the dark of the unknown. I will walk this planet forever. The future is a cold, howling wind. But at least I know I will not be alone.
"Where ... where do we go next, then?" I ask her.
She points, her long slender finger aimed at the road. "We go there, and we begin walking. For as long as it takes. Until even the Moon itself forgets we ever existed."
I wake up. The bed is stiff, and I am covered in sweat. My throat is dry. Turning my head, I can see the city lights outside the window, the giant video billboard with the dancing girl and her bottle of perfume. The traffic roars endlessly below. Across the tiny room, Eirin is sitting at a desk, looking at the screen of her laptop.
"Bad dream?" she asks without turning to me.
I don't respond. I sit up, placing my bare feet on the floor. "Is there any food left?"
"Only pretzels. I need to do shopping. Why, are you hungry?"
"Not that hungry. It can wait until morning." I stand up and stretch. "What are you doing?"
"Just reading the news."
I step over to her, looking over her shoulder. There's been another earthquake in Japan. "And what about the sisters?"
Eirin sighs. "Still no sign of them since last time. But they'll be back."
I turn to the window. Placing my hand on the pane, I look down at the traffic below. This is a city of millions. Very easy to hide in plain sight. And all of these people will grow up, die, and fade into the fog of memory in the blink of an eye; a span of time that means nothing to Eirin and I. And nothing to the sisters.
"I guess we should consider moving soon," I say.
"Mm," says Eirin non-committedly.
"Unless you think it's alright to stay here longer."
Eirin doesn't say anything.
I turn to look at her. I feel words beginning to form in my head. The words I want to ask her, the same words that have tried to coalesce since we started running. But just like every time, they fly from my grasp.
Eirin turns to me. "What is it, Princess?"
I smile and shake my head. "It's nothing. Just thinking about breakfast."
"I can get something if you like. Denny's is open 24 hours."
"No, it's alright." I walk back to bed, and sit down. "It can wait until morning." It can always wait until morning.
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