Out Of Breath: Chapter 1

Eirin is covered in blood. She is as still as stone. I'm shaking so hard I feel as though I might crumble to pieces. Laying on the grass are five dead men. High above us, the moon is still waxing - soon the barrier between this place I've come to call home and the True Moon will open. And then the Lunarian emissaries will come looking for these men. And when they find them, they'll be coming for me and Eirin.

"Now," says Eirin, only her mouth moving, looking down at the five dead men, the short blade still in her hand. "We need to find a place to hide."

I feel as though I might vomit.

"Are you listening to me, Princess?" she asks. "We cannot stay in this town. The moon is almost full and-"

I turn, drop to my hands and knees, and wretch onto the cool grass.

"Well," says Eirin. Her voice is so steady. "I suppose we'll just have to keep moving. Princess." She steps over to me, offering me her hand. I don't take it. She crouches down next to me, and lays a hand on the small of my back. "Princess, it is important that you understand what I am saying here."

My bones begin to shake. "Why did you do that?"

"For you, Princess."

"You did ... this ... for me?" I can see my life now, dropping out of my hands like a plate. I am watching it now in slow motion as it falls, and I know that it will soon strike the ground, and shatter.

"Yes. They were going to take you away from this place, and you didn't want to go. It's my fault you're here in the first-"

"Stop saying that!" I turn to her at last, and I know I'm crying because I can feel the wetness on my cheeks. But I don't feel anything right now.

"Granted, you told me to make the elixir. Refusal of a royal order does have serious consequences. But you have no idea, Princess, no idea whatsoever how guilty I felt when you were banished to this place. And there was nothing I could do. Until now."

For the first time in my life, I am afraid of her. I feel afraid that she has lost her mind. "By killing?" I can't stop the sobbing. I look at the dead men laying there in the moonlight, their faces twisted in terror still. I wish they would sink into the earth. I wish Eirin had never attacked them. A great, heavy door has slammed shut behind me now though.

"Princess," she says, very quietly. "This was the only way. Those men had to die."

I pull away from her, and stand. "You're insane." I can feel panic crawling up the front of my chest, reaching for my throat.

She rises, and shakes her head.

"You're insane!" I scream, trembling. I take a deep breath. I cannot fall apart. It takes all of my energy to keep from shattering completely. I am holding together the pieces of myself by sheer force of will.

"Princess," Eirin says, and a small smile grows across her lips. "Don't worry. I will protect you."

"You'll protect me? From what you- I can't believe this." I cross my arms over my stomach. I do not want to vomit again. I take another deep breath. If I think out loud, maybe I can control my thoughts. "Do you realize just how ruined I am now? I'd miss this place, yes, but I'd get over that, even if it took hundreds of years. I could probably even visit here. You didn't need to ... do this."

"I suppose you are right," Eirin nods. "But it's done now. I take full responsibility for what I did. I want to atone for getting you banished. Even if that means following you to the ends of the Earth, forever."

I want to rush to her and strangle the life out of her. I want to push her into the soil with my bare hands. I hate Eirin so much right now that I feel like my skin is on fire. She walks to me now, slowly. And as much as I want to, I cannot lift my hands to her.

"Princess. I understand you're confused right now. With this one act, I have thrown away everything that I ever achieved. All of the work I did with Lord Tsukuyomi, the home we built with our own hands, the Lunarian society that we created. But listen to me." She places her hands softly on my shaking shoulders. "Listen, Princess. You were the Jewel of the Moon. And they threw you away. Because of me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?" Now her eyes are welling with tears. "I betrayed the crowning spirit, the very essence of the Moon itself. But more than this, I betrayed my best friend."

Eirin embraces me suddenly. I can feel the stickiness of her tears, or the blood, on the side of my face. "When I came here with the emissaries, I never intended to go back. I would put myself in your place and stay here forever. When you told them you wanted to stay here ..." Eirin pulls away from me now. Her ancient eyes are steady, unblinking, motionless. "When you said those words, I knew at once what I had to do. And I did not hesitate. For you, Princess, I would never hesitate."

Her words fall over me like summer rain. My anger washes away in rivulets over my skin, soaked up by the Earth. What that water will nourish, I cannot say.

She's right. The Moon did betray me. But Eirin did not. She is the only friend I ever had. This does not change the fear I feel now. I have to leave my friends and adopted family here. I have to go into the dark of the unknown. I will walk this planet forever. The future is a cold, howling wind. But at least I know I will not be alone.

"Where ... where do we go next, then?" I ask her.

She points, her long slender finger aimed at the road. "We go there, and we begin walking. For as long as it takes. Until even the Moon itself forgets we ever existed."

I wake up. The bed is stiff, and I am covered in sweat. My throat is dry. Turning my head, I can see the city lights outside the window, the giant video billboard with the dancing girl and her bottle of perfume. The traffic roars endlessly below. Across the tiny room, Eirin is sitting at a desk, looking at the screen of her laptop.

"Bad dream?" she asks without turning to me.

I don't respond. I sit up, placing my bare feet on the floor. "Is there any food left?"

"Only pretzels. I need to do shopping. Why, are you hungry?"

"Not that hungry. It can wait until morning." I stand up and stretch. "What are you doing?"

"Just reading the news."

I step over to her, looking over her shoulder. There's been another earthquake in Japan. "And what about the sisters?"

Eirin sighs. "Still no sign of them since last time. But they'll be back."

I turn to the window. Placing my hand on the pane, I look down at the traffic below. This is a city of millions. Very easy to hide in plain sight. And all of these people will grow up, die, and fade into the fog of memory in the blink of an eye; a span of time that means nothing to Eirin and I. And nothing to the sisters.

"I guess we should consider moving soon," I say.

"Mm," says Eirin non-committedly.

"Unless you think it's alright to stay here longer."

Eirin doesn't say anything.

I turn to look at her. I feel words beginning to form in my head. The words I want to ask her, the same words that have tried to coalesce since we started running. But just like every time, they fly from my grasp.

Eirin turns to me. "What is it, Princess?"

I smile and shake my head. "It's nothing. Just thinking about breakfast."

"I can get something if you like. Denny's is open 24 hours."

"No, it's alright." I walk back to bed, and sit down. "It can wait until morning." It can always wait until morning.

The Sound of the City: Chapter 1

Laying on the grass on a summer afternoon, Aya Syameimaru was reading some recent story ideas in her Bunkachou, when she started to feel a little drowsy in the sun. A bee flew by, to nowhere in particular. As she sometimes would when her mind wandered, she started flipping through older pages.

It amazed her how vividly exactly where she was when she jotted down a line or some questions could be brought to life. Here, for example, “Does anyone buy anything from Korindou?” - Aya was standing under the short awning of a noodle stand when she wrote that, the cool mist of a heavy downpour on her arms. In the margin, here, just the word “flowers”, she'd written practically in her sleep, woken up by an unknown noise, finding herself suddenly open-eyed to the night sky.

But then Aya caught one sentence: “Talk to Yukari.” This was what started the story she couldn't finish, the article she never put to print. She felt her heart skip a beat.



“The outside world is fine in small doses,” Yukari Yakumo had told Aya back then, during an interview about her encounters outside the border. “But I could never live there. It's just too boring.”

They were seated together in the main room of her home, the doors open to the mountains, the border there, silent and absolute, invisible. It was early evening, and the mists within their valleys were beginning to rise with the cooling day. Aya tapped her pen against her wrist.

“That's easy for you to say. You've spent more time out there than anyone. I bet there's all sorts of things going on. I mean, you brought the shopkeeper all kinds of strange things. I'd love to get a better look at where these things come from.” Of course. This was feature material.

Yukari scoffed. “Well, it's not that simple. You don't just go bounding into the outside world. There are no youkai. You'd stick out like a sore thumb.”

Aya considered this. The wings were concealable, but her ears and eyes would certainly give her away.

Yukari smirked, considering. “You know, actually, it wouldn't be hard for you to pass as human.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Well, if you had the right clothing,” Yukari nodded, thinking out loud. “You'd have to make sure you kept your hair over your ears, of course. Hm. And you could get some colored contacts.”

“Some what?”

“Small pieces of colored glass that you wear on your eyes, to change their color.”

“On … on my eyes?”

“Yes.”

Aya looked at the mountains, and turned back to Yukari.

There were always new guests to Gensokyo, so news of the outside world, even from sometimes fourth-party sources, often came in. But it had never previously occured to her to go into the outside world itself to do her own coverage. She had to admit, it was an intriguing idea. She imagined a multi-part feature series, loads of photos and interviews. It would be a historical record. “Do you really think I could pass as human?”

Yukari nodded. “Yes. Just so long as no one catches you flying.”



And so the preparations began. Yukari went across the border and returned a week later to fetch Aya. She found the tengu at the Human Village, approaching the school.

“Aya,” Yukari smiled. “Are you ready to leave?”

“I am,” she said without hesitation. The idea of going into the outside world to do an investigative piece became much more attractive when Yukari had told her that she could be a journalist in the outside world, too. Yukari had explained the concept of interns, and while it sounded appealing, Aya wondered how she would live. “I'll take care of that part. You concentrate on what I told you. And on your story.”

Aya stopped short of the school house, and put her notebook away. “So when do we go?” She asked.

“We can leave right now, if you like.” Yukari said. “But maybe not in the middle of the village.”



The apartment was small. There were a pair of small windows opposite the door, a table, a cushion, a futon alongside a wall shared with a closet to the left, and to the right, the kitchen. Aya regarded the metal fixtures of the sink, the steel box beside it, and made a note that the kitchen was the most advanced area of the household. The windows were covered, but Aya could hear a strange wind outside, a constant breeze that rose and fell in pitch.

The gap closed behind them. Yukari turned to Aya, then looked back at the room. “Well, this is it. This is where I stay.”

On the table sat a device Aya didn't recognize. She eyed it curiously as she tried to parse what function it could serve. Yukari noticed Aya's bewildered expression. “Ah, this ...” Yukari approached the table, sitting at the machine, “is going to teach you everything you need to know about the outside world. It works a lot like a typewriter, only it can do much more.”

Yukari pressed a button in the side of the machine, and it whirred softly to life. When the monitor lit up, Yukari took the mouse and opened a browser. Aya followed with rapt attention.

“You'd better learn how to use one of these things,” Yukari said. “Especially if you want to be a journalist out here. Not just for writing, but also for research.” She opened Wikipedia. “You can start just by typing in that box what you want to know about, or you can just click where it says 'random page'. There are other places on this machine you go to, too, and I've marked those for you here.” Opening bookmarks. “Make good use of these, and they'll help you learn about how things are out here. I can't be gone for days on end to answer all your questions, and I think you'll learn faster this way, anyway.”

Aya nodded. “You're right, research is key. I have to blend in. I don't want anyone thinking I'm a tengu.”

Yukari laughed a bit. “There's little danger of that. No one believes tengu are real, so it's the last possibility they'd consider if they discovered you didn't know what a car was, or how telephones work. Most likely, they'd conclude you were either newly arrived from some primitive village, or that you just weren't very bright.”

“I see.” Aya frowned.

“Anyway, spend a few days at least with this machine. Take your time. There's enough food to last you a week. After that, you're on your own, but there's a shop not far from here where you can buy food. I've left you more than enough money, in the closet.”

Aya nodded. She considered the room. It wasn't as much space as she was used to, but it would do. She kept expecting to somehow feel different, just by being in the outside world. It surprised her that she felt this comfortable. A wave of resolution swelled up inside her. “OK. So, what do we do first?”

“First,” Yukari turned with a smile to the closet, “You need to get changed.” She removed a small armful of clothing and placed it on the futon.

Yukari turned to the window as Aya stepped to the futon, and looked at the clothing. They looked so plain and unflattering. Reluctantly, she undressed, and put on the costume. “Alright.” she said at last, “Do I look human?”

Yukari turned around. Aya had taken off her tokin hat. Her hair covered her ears. She was wearing a white turtleneck with a tan suede vest, a black knee-length skirt, charcoal grey stockings and a pair of simple black flats. Yukari caught her breath.

“Better than I expected!” Yukari arched her brows, then gave an approving nod. She stepped closer, adjusting the tengu's hair a bit around her ears. “Now we just have to take care of those eyes.”

Contact lenses proved to be a real struggle. Yukari had insisted Aya learn to put them in and take them out herself, but the thought of putting something on her eyeball made Aya squeamish. But red eyes would be a problem, so in they went, eventually. Yukari regarded her face from different angles. She could sometimes see a thin crescent of red around her pupils, if she looked at her at just the right angle, but most likely no one would believe her eyes were actually red.

Yukari pulled her face back as Aya wiped tears from her cheeks. Yukari smiled. The tengu looked surprisingly human. If Yukari were drifting in the night sky over any street in this city and saw Aya walking past storefront windows, she'd suspect she was an ordinary recent university graduate from an ordinary school in this ordinary world.

“What is it?” asked Aya.

“It's nothing. I just want to remember this.” Yukari answered. “Say, lend me your camera. I want to get a picture of this.”

“Of course! We have to keep a visual record.” She took her camera out from her skirt pocket,

“No, not that one.” Yukari tapped the closet door with her umbrella. “Bottom shelf.”

Aya turned, and laughed nervously, opening the closet door. There, on the bottom shelf, was a flat, metal camera, smaller than her hand.

“That's your new camera. Much easier to carry around, much more discreet. Plus you'll need one, if you become an intern somewhere.”

Aya picked up the camera, turning it over in her hand. The internship. The perfect combination of fully covering the outside world with hiding in plain sight, and by working her trade as well. Aya felt her pulse quicken a bit at the idea. It might be tough working somewhere else, but the tengu was confident. There wasn't any going back now.

“Here, I'll show you how it works,” Yukari said, reaching for the camera.



Yukari coached Aya on a number of aspects of the outside world that evening.

“The biggest difference between the outside world and Gensokyo is not only the lack of faith in the gods and youkai. Symptomatic of that is the pace at which they live.” Yukari began. The two were sitting at the table, drinking cold barley tea in the warm little room. Aya could hear music playing through the walls, but did not recognize the melody, or the instruments.

“I'm used to humans. I've talked to plenty of them.” Aya took a sip of tea.

“These aren't like the mikos, or even the humans in the village. People in the outside world are very busy people. They are constantly working, going places, doing things, meeting people. They don't have a lot of free time.”

“I see. And there's really no belief in the gods at all?”

“Well, of course, there is some faith. But even that's a different sort. It's not the kind that serves the gods, but serves them.”

“I don't understand.”

“You will. Anyway, that's not important. Just always keep in mind the speed at which they live. It influences every other aspect of who they are.”

Aya nodded. “I'll have that in mind.”

“Now.” Yukari put down her glass of tea. “Let's talk about your job interview.”



Later that night, after Yukari had said her good-byes, Aya was sitting on the futon looking at the money Yukari left for her. Beautiful slips of paper with writing and drawings on them. The apartment was hers for as long as she needed.

Aya listened to the wind outside her window. It was unending, but unobtrusive, rising and falling, accented from time to time with soft rumbles. She realized she hadn't even looked outside yet. The tengu stood and walked to the window, pushing aside the blinds.

Across from her she saw a wall with windows in it - a three-story building. There were others lined up on either side of it, spaced very close together. She looked down and there, in the space between her house and the one across from her, she saw the cars Yukari had told her about. Strange to see them in action. They looked like dark, shiny beetles sliding across a surface of white ice. Aya watched them for a while, then walked back to the futon. She laid down, looked at the money a little longer, and drifted to sleep.